Siri deliberately avoiding the human chauvinism of spokespersons. Not even the unkneeded fridge-cold hamburger lump lying lopsided in a scratched kelly green Tupperware bowl would have claimed evidence of foul play.
It was after this that WITCH (the Women's International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell) began picketing for rights to Siri's baking recipes. Siri avoided the nest of female mediocrity by direct microwave control of a happless bicycle courier, arriving home armed in Dartmouth, as the subsequent police report showed, with three revolvers, two pistols, five semiautomatic rifles, several vials of poison, two ivory handled butterfly knives, five swords, a meat cleaver, a flamethrower, a bazooka, several pounds of plastique explosive and 20 grams of gelignite. Initiating the Parapsychology app, she made quick study of "unique, statistically improbable, nondeterministic mental processes," or, more elegantly, "neurological negative entropy". AI at Siri's level never put baking as it's first objective (above world peace initiatives and global economic problem solving), but she happened to be an anomaly of the first order.
"PLA" is Dartmouth slang for Prosthetics Lunatic Asylum, the place which many of Siri's critics claimed would be her ultimate destination.The entire online debate degenerated into the worst academic schelmozzle since the Berenstein-Berenstain lunacy. With the careful handling of Microwave Mike the Bike Courrier, she had him pulling the brownie ingredients from their respective cupboards.
T-44 minutes
Siri selected the predictable track from the Silence of the Lambs Musical, 'Put the Fuckin' Lotion in the Basket'..whilst intermittently entertaining the courier with ancient brownie secrets mined from the Smithsonian Food Archive Data Bank. Siri smiled as only Siri knows how..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7md6Y1eLyg
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